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Where the hell is balloon boy ?
Who has my eyeliner?
“If it wasn’t for this Trucker Speed we’d all be dead by now.”
This picture was taken just seconds before this man killed a family of seven in a head on collision.
“Always remember: Safety FIRST!”
Now we know how why the van broke down, too much multi-tasking and not enough gauge reading.
When the guys are asleep in back, I can do whatever the hell I want up here….
“It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, half a packet of cigarettes, a cell phone, a road map, an iPod, it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses… HIT IT!”
I could afford a GPS.
The radio weren’t a piece of shit.
I could kick this smoking habit.
I had gotten a good night’s sleep.
This phone had voice command…
Who knew that Father Guido Sarducci was Son Volt’s driver?
Since he couldn’t find a lighter Dave has phone sex while listening to his own drum solo on his head phones while playing a different drum solo thru the van speakers while drinking red bull spiked with tobasco sauce while driving 100 miles per hour with his eyes focused on the map in his lap which he thinks is a Where’s Waldo book all in an attempt to raise his core body temperature so high that he could light his cigarette from the inside out. Magic!
Thank god I snapped off a pic of that Memphis hooker for long road trips like this.
“Both feet on the floor, two hands on the what?”
Having been rerouted around the city, a wired Dave gets his phone pics of Denver the next best way – right off the map.
Hey Andrew, put a bunch of stuff on my lap and hand me my phone so we can look like we are doing something dangerous and interesting. Man it’s hard to be this cool 😉
“911 is a joke, and fuck to the police….yeah boi…”
Isn’t the line ‘TWO hands on the wheel’?
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